How Do You Know He’s The One?

As a 23 year old who recently got engaged, I often get asked how I knew he was the one; especially from my housemates and their friends who are mostly 19-20 years old. They seem to always be struggling with the idea that the guy they picked may not be “the one” or the guy they dumped last weekend may have been “the one”. And this is what I tell them..

When I was 20 I met this guy who bought me flowers, took me out on expensive dates and introduced me to his friends – the whole deal. But that’s something all nice guys are going to do for you. The problem is, not all nice guys can be the one you commit a lifetime to. So how do you know?

You know it in the small things and not the big ones. Been dating about 11 months by then, we were driving to a party one night and he stopped to withdraw some cash. I decided to wait in the car so I could finish singing along to the song that was playing (fix you by Coldplay – all time favourite). I casually watched him walk towards the ATM and that’s when it hit me for the first time – “I could do this all my life”. By “this” I mean “watch him do the most mundane, un-exciting tasks”.

Now don’t get me wrong. He’s an exciting human being and he loves big gestures (that I obviously love) but that’s not why I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I want to marry him because he could be washing dishes, staring at his laptop screen or just chewing and all I can think about is “I cannot believe I found you”.

When people ask me how I knew he was the one they usually expect me to say “oh, he’s so well read and smart”, “he’s really good to me” or the usual “when you know, you know!”. Those are all good reasons but they’re not why I was and still am so sure. I’m sure because I’m watching him measure the width of his wrist with his fingers and it’s the most adorable thing to watch for me.

So that’s how you know; when the small, mundane, daily stuff makes you just as happy and content as the flowers and expensive dinners.